Nicole does Math

Sleep Deprivation

Sat, 29 Sep 2012 07:45:05 -0400

Guys, lets have a get real moment.

Sit down, get comfy because I have feelings to share.

I kind of miss math.

I miss Stefano heckling me at 9am to be stoked about learning, the girl that wore her hair in a bun directly on top of her head, nini, the homework with disrespectful amounts of spelling errors, and the actual math.

Why is this happening?

Oh yeah, because in math you don’t have to come up with 23905802 art projects for your 9987433458 page curriculum that’s due in December.

all my projects involve glitter

Sampson returns.

Tue, 14 Aug 2012 18:35:10 -0400

As you all know, I’m done with Math 101 (thank you lord baby jesus) but Math 101 is not done with me.

Sampson came into starbucks last night and sat RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME with a lady I presume to be his girlfriend/lover.

My face the entire time:

No. Sampson we are done, I understand that you probably recognized me since you kept doing the causal lean of oh-hello-there-person-I-know, but I’m done with this relationship.

This sista gurl needs to graduate.

I can’t keep reliving the nightmare that was that class.

FINAL GRADES, oh my glob

Thu, 31 May 2012 02:13:00 -0400

First off, I’d like to thank my parents for giving birth to me and all that shit, thanks guys. Secondly I’d like to thank all my followers for helping me believe that my invisible audience actually consisted of 10 people. You’re all fabulous. Thirdly I’d like to thank Nini for being my math partner. And lastly, Stefano for being the Russian Jesus of mathematics.

As for the actual final & the night before, I was a hot mess. It’s really something when even your kitten sweater doesn’t make you feel confident.

But, I pulled off a 91% on the final.

So guys, for real: I, Nicole, art (education) student, got an ‘A’ in math for the second time in her life since 3rd quarter of my 8th grade year.

WELP HELL FROZE OVER, HERE I COME APOCALYPSE

its been real math 101.

PEACE

Day of Review

Thu, 31 May 2012 02:08:31 -0400

For exam 3 is upon us, fearless followers.

I envision it going something like this:

I’m not worried about the finance, that’s pretty straight forward, but the algebra? What what what is this wording?

Our homework for this week is disrespectful in that it’s ambiguous and riddled with spelling errors.

Plus Sampson did little to clear up any misunderstandings, but I’ve learned to not hold my breath in that situation.

EDIT: forgot to publish this, lololol

Well, the Final is tomorrow

Wed, 09 May 2012 10:20:12 -0400

At 8am.

Thanks Stefano.

I have my last math night with Nini tonight. So many tears and like emotions. Partially for the memories and mostly for the ball chappery that math leaves me with when I’m done studying.

Any who, here’s a recap of the past week in math:

Recitation: One would think, that if your supervisor has come in to sit through your lesson that you would bring your top game.

Nope, nope. nopenopenopenope. Not in the slightest.

I thought I was beyond such rage, but alas dear followers, I am only human.

He spent until 9:37 reviewing. Then we took the quiz, as a class, until 9:48. Which leaves us a gratuitous 2 minutes to ask about homework.

Sampson, it has been a rough semester, for the both of us, but you need to realize that time management is vital in a classroom, AND if you’re struggling to make the time commitment too the course, maybe look elsewhere for grad assistantship.

And please get some new shoes/pants/attitude.

Lecture:

Stefano gave us the most inspiring speech before we left on our merry way. Basically he told us to be awesome and that he liked us when we were quiet.

Stefano, we’re on the same level. True mathemagician.

But as for tomorrow:

SISTER INFANT BABY JESUS

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 12:42:46 -0400

EXAM GRADES HAVE BEEN POSTED.

OH MY GLOB GUYS

GUYS YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

GUYS LISTEN

I GOT A 100

WUT

…hell…hell has frozen over

AND IT FEELS GGGGGGREAT!

Geometry: The Final Boss

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 01:15:27 -0400

So guys, after the rage-fest that was studying for the third exam, it turned out not to be too much of a traumatic acid trip of a test.

The grades still aren’t up much thanks to Prof. Stefanos issues with comcast (comcast, your sticking your dirty little fingers in my business, best watch yourself). So I’m dying of anticipation and waayyyyyy too much coffee.

But after a successfully mediocre weekend, I strolled into math today feeling charismatic for the next section.

We started with rates of change. Cruised through it like a coke dealer on a speed boat with his honey boo boos. Then Stefano noticed how we were just slumped in our seats and decided to spare us with starting a few basic notes of the next section, taking a mini quiz and letting us free into the fabulous Monday.

What he wrote next merited this face from me:

THE BASICS OF GEOMETRY

DAMN IT GUYS. I HAVE AN ‘A’ IN THIS CLASS.

It was like that pathetic scene in Never Been Kissed when Drew Barrymore gets invited to prom by the hot jock dude and he eggs her! This is my second undercover story version of her life via math.

Damn it Stefano! Geometry is here to take me to prom, take me right to the end where I see the ‘A’ on my transcript, it’s in sight, then, out of fucking nowhere, is a giant circle-rectangle-square-proof beast to cockblock me.

SHIT JUST GOT TOO REAL

Only 4 more recitations

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 00:47:22 -0400

I. can. do. it.

If I had a gif of balls being dragged slowly across icy concrete it would be placed below. Instead here’s this:

You see, Sampson is aware of our discontent and in his own Sampsony way is enjoying his position. He now states in class how long it takes him to do things.

Oh. Sweetie, we are aware that it took you 25 minutes to review information we already learned. We know.

But whatever guys, that’s not what truly upset me about today. No no no.

Now here me out, I’m the type of person that has no problem loathing a person. But I keep it to myself. Key note, right there. Especially when it comes to professors/teachers. Why? Because that’s how I was raised. I will always maintain a level of cordial demeanor to people in those positions regardless of how well or not I think they’re doing their job. Maybe it’s because one day I’ll be a teacher, but had this happened in my class, mmmm you know honey boo boo child would of gone all sorts of cray.

What went down: It’s obvious a majority of the class hates the 50 minutes we have to spend in there, through their eye rolls and sighs, but there’s this one girl, whom I’ll refer to as Kim.

Kim is easily upset and can not seem to ask a question with out it sounding like a bomb is going to go off in the next 5 seconds. Kim has walked out of class before after hearing answers she doesn’t like, in my book she’s immature and overly emotional. Whatever. Today though she decided to voice her opinion as she walked out of class in earshot of Sampson. She said, quite simply, that she hates this class.

Now some of you might not think of that as a big deal. But had I been in Sampson’s position? I would have invited her to either a.) not return to class because no one is forcing her to go or b.) come to my office to see if we can discuss the issue.

I think her behavior track record is what tipped the scale for me because I wanted nothing more than to tell her to get over herself as she left.

Kim, sweetie, shut up. It’s not Stefano’s fault or Sampson’s Fault (okay maybe a little on sampson) that you struggle with math, maybe if you shut up and listen and stopped getting a temper attitude with everyone, you’d be alright.

Any who guys, Sorry for the essay, I’m just an 80 year old in a 21 year old body with a mouth like Nicki Minaj and charisma like Elle Woods.

Random note: As I was trying to change themes for my main tumblr, I did it for this one and now I can’t find my original layout. I’m so disgruntled.

Day Shit I'm still in this class

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 22:06:05 -0400

Okay guys, this is true life time.

I’m bad at keeping up with things.

Hence why this blog stopped being updated.

Sad.

So here’s where we’re at in this battle royale:

-I have a chance at getting an ‘A’

-I really despise Sampson. Every recitation is like dragging my balls on concrete.

-Stefano is still funny

-We’ve made it through logic and finance & now we’re doing algebra.

-I have a very limited amount of paper left in my notebook.

So yeah. Sorry guises.

Any who, the material isn’t horrendous, what makes this class a continuous headache is the people. Seriously, why are you all talking? Why the fuck is your phone still on? Girl behind me, shut up, you have nothing to say.

At least doing the homework is fun because we listen to Disney songs and eat nutella.

Day 9: Math lol

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:53:00 -0500

We’ve finally reached the cuteness that is quartile deviation & standard deviation and you know what?

I WAS SO PUMPED.

Now I can finish my damn homework.

And Stefano, being the saintly sweater wearing bloke he is, changed our homework due date to Monday. A true good guy Greg.

Range, inter quartile range, & quartile deviation are easy enough.

Standard deviation is essentially like writing a small novel in numbers. Especially since our homework has sets of 10+ numbers.

At least it’s easy.

Unlike the words problems that I glanced at and blew off like a prom date. Stick with numbers math, you’re better with them.

Now I have a hot date with Nini & friends to do our homework AND more time to dance around this weekend.

Oh and my friend pointed that Math 101 looks like math lol when written down. It’s ironic because nothing is funny in math.

ever.

Day 8: Sampson

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 23:20:17 -0500

Recitation take 2.

Entered class:

Left class:

Why? Well let me tell you dear followers:

Sampson rambles. Then after his rambling he gives you an answer to your question in what I’m assuming math in Shakespearean quotation would sound like.

Before taking the quiz, Sampson decided to teach us how to do percentages.

Really?

After the fact he rambled about pie charts and eating pie.

Bro, I wanna get this quiz over with.

So we took the quiz, easy enough. Whatever. Then we got to the homework.

The first two questions were easy enough and he gave unnecessarily long answers, okay, cool, but we’re nearing the end of class. So it’s about 9:42 at this point (we get out at 9:50) and I have another class at 10 in another building.

A girl raises her hand and asks about this sort of thing:

x=(1,2,3,4) find y if y=f(x)=2x+3

Sampson’s response? show us how to graph

WHILE RAMBLING

At this point it’s 9:48 and I’m ready to go, but he finally gets to the actual math part of the problem AND STARTS TO RAMBLE ABOUT AN 80’s MOVIE.

NO. I HAVE PLACES TO BE.

We got out at 9:53

This is going to be a long semester.

Day 7: N=Nicole

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 23:32:14 -0500

Sometimes we take risks, and that’s usually a good thing.

I took a risk by starting 1.2’s homework because back then I was reckless and care free but now I’m plagued by extra corrections because Stefano worked his wizardry.

Naturally, you can’t just add up mean & crap. You have to find n and put it in numerical order. Little stuff, but I didn’t do that on my homework because that’s dumb. Whatever.

My hello kitty notebook makes it better.

I need to prepare for our first quiz in the morning.

Lawd, we ride at dawn.

Day 6: Moar Stahbuks

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 23:26:30 -0500

Went to Starbucks again today to do more homework. Finished section 1.1 and played the roulette that is starting 1.2 without Stefano’s wisdom. It’s only mean, median, and mode but he probably was some wacky ass way of depicting it.

RISK TAKER.

Starbucks and I are going steady though on a positive note.

ehhh there’d be some snarky gif to match this if photobucket wasn’t being a whore.

Day 5: Stah-buks

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:54:57 -0500

So yes, it’s technically Saturday, but that doesn’t stop Nicole.

No, no. no!

What do we do? We go to Starbucks and study because that’s what all the English majors do.

Plus I really wanted a Grande Skinny Soy Vanilla Latte.

Nini & I trucked through our homework like small tigers to the point of not knowing if 5+5 really truly equaled 10.

I ended up with a cute amount of questions too because math doesn’t seem to understand the concept of clear grammar and complete sentence/questions. When they get wishy washy about what they’re looking for, I practically turn into the hulk.

It’s not pretty.

Sampson, you best be ready for me Tuesday, because I am gunna Nicki Minaj all over da place.

Day 4: Charisma

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:49:12 -0500

Stefano was charismatic as ever for our lovely Friday class. This is shown heavily through his notes which: A. contained spelling errors, and B. Were practically word for word of what he said a lot of the time.

But I can overlook it.

We did pie charts and histograms.

Then we did this business: y=f(x)=4x+2 if x equals 1,2,3,4

Hard? No. Annoying? Quite.

Cause of irritation?

Senioritis.

Then again maybe not. I was probably the only person in there that was annoyed we didn’t to section 1.2.

I just want to get my homework done.

Oh and we had our first mini quiz.

The question: What do you enjoy about math?

I was tempted to put being able to keep my hustlin records straight

Day 3: Real Life Application

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:41:31 -0500

Thursday is my math free day of magic, but naturally I did my homework.

It wasn’t terrible but it was time consuming, but that could just be my paranoia in needing to write everything out.

EVERYTHING

Plus it had those stupid ‘apply this to your life’ questions.

Whatever

Weekend:

Day 2: Stefano

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 11:45:00 -0500

First Impression of my professor:

We’re going to get along.

From now on I’ll refer to him as Stefano, which to me sounds suave, bad ass, and slightly awkward.

Stefano has a lot of charisma towards math while maintaining a honey badger attitude. Our mission, as defined by him, is to earn AS MANY POINTS AS POSSIBLE. But for real, he means business.

Cheat on his tests? He’ll see to it that you’re expelled, from the university.

Use your phone in his class? He’ll kick you out for the day

Talk while he’s lecturing? He’ll make the exam damn near impossible.

His attitude made doing math the first day not suck horrifically, only a little bit. We’re starting with graphs and apparently line graphs are also called frequency polygons. Sounds like Pokemon to me & I’ve got a shit ton of badges to earn.

Day 1: Machines by Google

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 12:36:00 -0500

My descent into Mathopotamia was as anticlimactic as these cats feel.

For starters, since myniu is boss, I had this 5 minute panic of ‘sweet jesus I can’t login I don’t know where in DuSable this is ohmygodimgoingtobelateonthefirstday.’ But then class search saved my ass, crisis adverted & it was time to skate to class.

There are only about 15 people in my recitation and yet I’ve already got figured out whose going to be that kid. You know the type, likes to talk and feel cool and ask questions that ARE COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC. It doesn’t help that our TA, who I’m going to call Sampson, is a rambler. He spent the first 10 minutes talking about machines & google running the world. However he made it clear that if you don’t come prepared & don’t’ care, then he won’t care about us.

So at least we understand each other on a pseudo cold-hearted level.

Then we did calculator magic, which was easy enough, but I forgot to get batteries for my R2D2-TI-84 so I looked like a dickweed the whole time using my ipod. Oh well.

Tomorrow I meet the overlord. In the mean time I’m going to devise a name for that kid in my recitation. I’m open to suggestions

Take 2

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 12:57:00 -0500

Well folks, I survived and prospered through my mathless fall semester. Now it’s time to man up and face the beast that is Math 101.

Me, being the responsible student I am, decided to check out their fantastic course page. It seems innocent enough, but for those of us who are math challenged, we know better. Plus, the grading scale sets the tone:

So, okay, 75% to get a ‘B’? Maybe there is hope. Then I checked out the topics covered.

Essentially, a nice chunk of that sounds like Satan’s asshole. At least we get to use calculators and fate paired me with a friend who is also taking the class.

But guise for real, I may have to pull sunshine out of my ass in order to get through this class. Because If I don’t pass this class then I’ll never graduate and never become a teacher and never get a cool underpaying job and never get to marry my husband Daniel Radcliffe and never meet Nicki Minaj.

Oh and for lulz:

Straight up business.

Hiatus

Sun, 28 Aug 2011 21:40:55 -0400

So.

The magic wizard I meet with to ensure I graduate indulged me with this little tid bit of info: In order to graduate from Hogwarts, I need to take mathh 110 AND stats 208. OR just take math 101.

I chose Satan’s option & went with the 101 plan.

I guess I’ll see you guys next semester.

…I’ll probably make another tumblr for things not related to math.